The unwritten rules of being a baseball fan
Are you an adult who wants to bring a mitt to a baseball game? Are you wondering if it’s OK to leave the ballpark early? Here are the definitive, binding answers to your very important questions about...
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of throwing an opponent’s home run back on the field
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, both.When I was a kid, I dreamt about this exact scenario. It...
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of leaving a baseball game early
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, bothThe unwritten rules of being a fan start with the...
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of giving your foul ball to a random child
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, both.So you’ve done it. You’ve caught a foul ball, and your...
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of an adult bringing a mitt to a baseball game
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, both.There is something inherently sad about a grown man or...
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of getting your own last name on the back of a team’s jersey
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, both.Don’t do this.
View ArticleThe unwritten rules of saying ‘we’ when referring to a sports team
Let’s talk about the unwritten rules of being a baseball fan. They’re incredibly important. Wait, no, they’re silly. Incredibly silly. OK, both.“What we gotta do is trade a first-rounder in 2021 and...
View ArticleThe infamous Bill Ripken card, 30 years later
In 1989, there was a baseball card with a swear word on it. This was a big deal. It had to have been a neighborhood kid who told me about the Bill Ripken card. I should still remember where I was, who...
View ArticleThe best and worst of the 2019 Hall of Fame vote
The four players elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame were very deserving, and we should probably focus on that. When you close the tab that holds this article, I want you to close your eyes and...
View ArticleThe only correct Baseball Hall of Fame ballot for 2019
The logjam is easing, but the Hall of Fame ballot is still a miserable juggling act.After years and years and years of complaining about the 10-player maximum on the Baseball Hall of Fame ballot, the...
View ArticleSo you need to choose between baseball and football
Is it fame that someone like Kyler Murray should seek? Or fortune? What about guaranteed millions? How do you feel about buses? Let’s hash this all out. Football is more popular than baseball. This is...
View ArticleHow 10-year deals would have worked for players like Bryce Harper and Manny...
Here are the players in MLB history who were this good before turning 26, and here’s how good they were a decade later.Bryce Harper and Manny Machado are both young, unique superstars who are currently...
View ArticleHow many WAR would I be worth if I got to play Little League again?
A whole bunch of WAR. It would probably be a record. The late, great comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “I wish I could play Little League now, I’d kick some f***** ass,” and everybody laughed. I didn’t...
View ArticleYasmani Grandal signed a great deal for the Brewers, and a bad deal for baseball
It’s a ludicrous deal, unless it’s totally reasonable. Come talk this through with me. POINT: Yasmani Grandal is a freak, an absolute anomaly. Catchers aren’t supposed to hit. Switch-hitting catchers...
View ArticleIt sure stinks to be a free agent second baseman in 2019
The offseason is slow for everyone, but don’t expect the second-base market to pick up at all. Jed Lowrie has been worth four or five wins over each of the last two seasons. It’s hard to put WAR into...
View ArticleAssigning the best remaining MLB free agents to new teams
I’m sick of the offseason. Let’s end it. This is all legally binding. The offseason is boring again. It’s more exciting than the strike or lockout will be, but it’s still boring. Bryce Harper and Manny...
View ArticleGrant Brisbee presents Grant Brisbee’s favorite Grant Brisbee stories of 2018
The list starts with a severed finger in a hot dog bun and ends with the Orioles, which is all the same thing, I guess. During the World Series, more than one baseball writer told me some variation of...
View ArticleNelson Cruz on the Twins is a strange fit
Nelson Cruz’s contract is owner-friendly. The Twins are better with him on the team. It would seem to be a perfect fit, and yet ...The Minnesota Twins signed Nelson Cruz to a one-year contract with an...
View ArticleThe Reds think they’re contending, and the Dodgers are scooping up prospects
This is a trade that needs two more months before we can evaluate it.The Dodgers traded Yasiel Puig, Alex Wood, Matt Kemp, Kyle Farmer, and $7 million to the Reds for Homer Bailey, Josiah Gray, and...
View ArticleRanking all 30 of the teams that should sign Bryce Harper
Harper would improve every team, but the internet is a slave to lists. Who am I to disappoint?If you want to get technical about it, Manny Machado is probably a better free agent than Bryce Harper. The...
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